Hope is one of the basic blocks of life. Of which, faith and love stems (Colossians 1)
The ability to dream is like the ability to fly. To reach. To soar. To touch. To yearn for the impossible.
Yet... in the pursuit of them, there are many truths I'm learning.
That God sometimes frustrates them. So that my smaller dreams can dissolve so that His bigger dreams can take place.
That my dreams are not a right.
That my dreams are not the be all and end all of life.
That shattered dreams are not something to be depressed about but celebrated??? (still trying to comes to terms with this one...)
Delayed dreams are not a bad thing.
Unfulfilled dreams, so what? Fulfillment depends on Him, not me.
Pursuit of it depends on me, fulfillment is up to Him to give.
"Shattered dreams open the door to better dreams, dreams we do not properly value until the dreams that we improperly value are destroyed. Shattered dreams destroy false expectations of the 'victorious' christian life with no real struggle or failure. They help us discover true hope. we need the the help of shattered dreams to put us in touch with what we long for the most, to create a felt appetite for better dreams. And living for the better dreams generates a new unfamiliar feeling that we eventually recognise as joy...Perhaps we're meant to learn that the richest hope permits the deepest suffering, which releases the strongest power, which then produces the greatest joy. Maybe there is no shortcut to joy. Maybe God sometimes frustrates our desire to experience Him in order to deepen it...Brokeness is the awareness that you long to be someone you are not, and cannot be without divine help."
Shattered Dreams - God's Unexpected Pathway to Joy //Larry Crabb
God is not one who bursts my dreams for the fun of it. He bursts it so I can embrace a bigger dream that only He can fulfill.
Its painful for my small bubbles to burst. It really is. But I can only hope, that He has better things in store. I still dun understand, I still cant see it.
"But when you dun understand, and you can't see His plan. And when you can't trace His hand, trust His Heart."
I will.
He is for me. Not against me. Never against me.
His plans give me a hope and a future.
Waiting for the pain and shame to go away.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
The Robbery of Voluminous Trivialities
In the book " The Overload Syndrome" by Richard A. Swenson, M.D., there were some themes in the book that drove home...
" The significant has been forced to wrestle with the superficial" how true... every additional product on the supermarket shelve steals another minute of considering which to buy...could use that minute to smile and love...
"Dilution and distraction" ... defocuses and robs concentration. Ads, ads and more ads!!! Too many choices...
"Volume displacing value" Too much, too many in a shorter time.
" Jesus was exceptionally focused. His intent was the glory of the Father, and nothing could distract Him from it. This does not mean He did not rest. It does not mean He never enjoyed Himself. It simply means He could not be distracted."
Jesus probably faced lots of pressure - from the authorities to conform, the people who are needy, screaming fans that want more, disciples's expectations... but he is so composed. He had so many choices. Yet He KNEW what His Father wanted. He focused. He knew when to WAIT. STOP. and GO. Remarkable. I want that. I really do.
I don't want small things, small decisions, multiple things to detract me. I want to stay on the track!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more robbery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
" The significant has been forced to wrestle with the superficial" how true... every additional product on the supermarket shelve steals another minute of considering which to buy...could use that minute to smile and love...
"Dilution and distraction" ... defocuses and robs concentration. Ads, ads and more ads!!! Too many choices...
"Volume displacing value" Too much, too many in a shorter time.
" Jesus was exceptionally focused. His intent was the glory of the Father, and nothing could distract Him from it. This does not mean He did not rest. It does not mean He never enjoyed Himself. It simply means He could not be distracted."
Jesus probably faced lots of pressure - from the authorities to conform, the people who are needy, screaming fans that want more, disciples's expectations... but he is so composed. He had so many choices. Yet He KNEW what His Father wanted. He focused. He knew when to WAIT. STOP. and GO. Remarkable. I want that. I really do.
I don't want small things, small decisions, multiple things to detract me. I want to stay on the track!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more robbery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Simplifying
Do we all live complicated lives? Maybe, at least for me , I think I do
Modern humanity as per Switchfoot ... too much noise... too much clutter... to much excess... too many choices... faster, bigger and better NOW!!!
Read this book that caused me to rethink my life - The Overload Syndrome "Learning to live within your limits". Its a very necessary and humbling and extremely practical book. Its a timeless book. A book that worth many re reads.
Through it, I carved a time to rest, created space to heal. Learnt that it was OK to have limits and live with them yet not being restricted by them. I've learnt to streamline, reduce, cut down, organise, be disciplined and even downgrade. So anti today's culture of getting more more and more!
"Consumption constrains us and simplicity frees us". What wisdom.
Modern humanity as per Switchfoot ... too much noise... too much clutter... to much excess... too many choices... faster, bigger and better NOW!!!
Read this book that caused me to rethink my life - The Overload Syndrome "Learning to live within your limits". Its a very necessary and humbling and extremely practical book. Its a timeless book. A book that worth many re reads.
Through it, I carved a time to rest, created space to heal. Learnt that it was OK to have limits and live with them yet not being restricted by them. I've learnt to streamline, reduce, cut down, organise, be disciplined and even downgrade. So anti today's culture of getting more more and more!
"Consumption constrains us and simplicity frees us". What wisdom.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Just Be
Life is interesting... I wonder when we get to heaven... perhaps one of the greatest thing we will realise is that our life on earth may be so far from how we were designed to live. Even as Christians
Have been thinking about this issue of DO and BE. MARTHA and MARY. In our society and churches too.... where our worth is measured in what we can do, how well we look, sing, dance... are we missing the point?
I really wish to be like Jesus - so boh chap about what people think of him. How he does not look to men for praises coz He knew what was in a man. Approval.
It makes perfect sense that we should get approval from our original creator because we just have to live to his standards. But instead we live by standards that we create for ourselves - to sing in tune is that we have to sing in CDEFGABC... to dance well is that we need to dance a certain way... to be smart is that we need to pass all tests...
Do do do...and sometimes to be a 'good' Christian... we have to serve serve serve (over serve) if not we are not 'good enough' ... We even translate that to God, to be loved and approved by Him, we need to do do and do.
I like this quote "we want to be in the presence of our Lord with empty hands; naked, vulnerable, useless, and without much to show, prove or defend." A close friend said that she wants to live her life like this: " Nothing to prove, Nothing to lose."
Perhapds Calvin Klein got it right. CK Be, just be.
Guess I've been too achievment oriented all my life (just ask any Singaporean too)... and I'm learning to flip the coin and balance the weighing scale. To be, then to do. Not to do so that I can be.
To be - outweighs all the dos. Coz that's what He made us for FIRST - He wants my affections, my love, my attention. He is jealous for me! The doing is simply a function, a fulfilling of His plans. That's secondary. Its an old truth but I'm learning it inside out.
Just Be, the Jael He has created me to be. So what if I can't sing as well as xxx, or dance as well as xxx, or have pretty legs and perfect skin like xxx or as capable as xxx or can play sports as xxx... I just have to be Jael... sometimes I dun even know what being Jael means... that's something I'm discovering everyday... Just be... more like Jesus, in the way only Jael can. Coz I'm special.
Have been thinking about this issue of DO and BE. MARTHA and MARY. In our society and churches too.... where our worth is measured in what we can do, how well we look, sing, dance... are we missing the point?
I really wish to be like Jesus - so boh chap about what people think of him. How he does not look to men for praises coz He knew what was in a man. Approval.
It makes perfect sense that we should get approval from our original creator because we just have to live to his standards. But instead we live by standards that we create for ourselves - to sing in tune is that we have to sing in CDEFGABC... to dance well is that we need to dance a certain way... to be smart is that we need to pass all tests...
Do do do...and sometimes to be a 'good' Christian... we have to serve serve serve (over serve) if not we are not 'good enough' ... We even translate that to God, to be loved and approved by Him, we need to do do and do.
I like this quote "we want to be in the presence of our Lord with empty hands; naked, vulnerable, useless, and without much to show, prove or defend." A close friend said that she wants to live her life like this: " Nothing to prove, Nothing to lose."
Perhapds Calvin Klein got it right. CK Be, just be.
Guess I've been too achievment oriented all my life (just ask any Singaporean too)... and I'm learning to flip the coin and balance the weighing scale. To be, then to do. Not to do so that I can be.
To be - outweighs all the dos. Coz that's what He made us for FIRST - He wants my affections, my love, my attention. He is jealous for me! The doing is simply a function, a fulfilling of His plans. That's secondary. Its an old truth but I'm learning it inside out.
Just Be, the Jael He has created me to be. So what if I can't sing as well as xxx, or dance as well as xxx, or have pretty legs and perfect skin like xxx or as capable as xxx or can play sports as xxx... I just have to be Jael... sometimes I dun even know what being Jael means... that's something I'm discovering everyday... Just be... more like Jesus, in the way only Jael can. Coz I'm special.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Feeling all so girlie
heeeh......
sometimes seeing how God has been renewing my life these past 2 years... the same question keep popping up in my head "WHERE HAVE I BEEN?" Guess... maybe I wasn't ready or was going through a cocoon phase??? Oh well... PUT THE PAST BEHIND... and PRESS FORWARD!!!
learning to see the beauty of a female, the suppleness - strong yet tender, gentle yet firm...
heee... seeing more ribbons, lace and pretty things in my wardrobe...*blush*
I dun need to be tough... Dada God is my protector... and He defends me, I'm totally SAFE. I dun need to prove anything... Dada God is my everything, I'm fully loved.
sometimes seeing how God has been renewing my life these past 2 years... the same question keep popping up in my head "WHERE HAVE I BEEN?" Guess... maybe I wasn't ready or was going through a cocoon phase??? Oh well... PUT THE PAST BEHIND... and PRESS FORWARD!!!
learning to see the beauty of a female, the suppleness - strong yet tender, gentle yet firm...
heee... seeing more ribbons, lace and pretty things in my wardrobe...*blush*
I dun need to be tough... Dada God is my protector... and He defends me, I'm totally SAFE. I dun need to prove anything... Dada God is my everything, I'm fully loved.
New Year New Me
Have been enjoying the new year so far... sure there had been some days with stormy weather... but oh well.. that's not the point... the point is that its new year. What other better time to make changes? Kinda gone pass the write down new year resolutions phase... instead the whole of last year was just that, kinda going all out to do whatever I ever wanted to do for years. And this year is no different.
New Year - just enjoying making the changes. Dumping away things that I had kept for YEARS (go ask my mama, she used to call me garang guni)... and putting in new things (Ha! I finally threw away that old big pillow in my living room that existed since i was a kid!! and replaced it with a new Ikea one)... and also streamlining
Decided to kick away my bad habits, establish good ones... (haha finally finally getting into the wash-tone-moisturise routine)
Guess... I've just reached a threshold of frustration - really wanting more change in my life
And also a new blooming... discovering new sides of me... that I never dared to show... but oh well... its coming out... God is drawing it out... the softer side of me... =)
Hee... I'm having lotsa FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
New Year - just enjoying making the changes. Dumping away things that I had kept for YEARS (go ask my mama, she used to call me garang guni)... and putting in new things (Ha! I finally threw away that old big pillow in my living room that existed since i was a kid!! and replaced it with a new Ikea one)... and also streamlining
Decided to kick away my bad habits, establish good ones... (haha finally finally getting into the wash-tone-moisturise routine)
Guess... I've just reached a threshold of frustration - really wanting more change in my life
And also a new blooming... discovering new sides of me... that I never dared to show... but oh well... its coming out... God is drawing it out... the softer side of me... =)
Hee... I'm having lotsa FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
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