The Poignancy of Life

went for a play titled "Life: a doublebill; portraying the poignancy of life". Went for it largely because a good friend was directing "Implosion", the first story.

I was pleasantly surprised... it was refreshingly funny yet it struck chords that is so commonplace in the Singaporean society. It was really good to see the themes explored in such a Singaporean manner (Hokkien sounding English and all for some characters) yet having so much depth.

Some of the issues were really poignant and I left having some questions "haunting me". There were no neat answers or happily ever after but it was real. For "Implosion" - issues of trust and communication within a marriage, issues of wanting to be love, accepted and being normal in the Singaporean society; especially the mental patients with syndromes they can't seem to shake, issues of expressing yourself freely in Singapore, about working hard and selling your soul to the employer. Really challenged me to be patient with people who are different and reinforce the importance of expressing one's thoughts and not bottle it up, yes... and also not selling your soul.

The other play "Just late", highlighted issues of parenting and also the deep hidden pains that often people don't talk about yet react/ act in a way that is defensive, unpleasant, angry or worse, cordial yet within is a brewing hurricane. At times of great stress, many of these things surface.

It really did struck a chord. Facing myself honestly, there is so much fear and resentment within... and last night, a song spoke to my heart... "Let the pain and the sorrow... be washed away... dip your heart in the stream of life... where deep meets deep" ...

Going where I had never been

just got back from running...

realise running is very visual... esp after i've been in this video line... and also all the nike+ ads... very effective

what i love is the exploratory portion... and the sensory tone... a voice telling you how much you ran... a voice telling you that that is the furthest you ran.

i like exploring. due to the move this year, i had been exploring places to do "research" on the decor. Remembered walking into Salvation Army and picking up a retro bedsheet which i converted to be a curtain. Liked walking into Rose Citron at 23 Keong Saik Rd where I met a nice French lady selling colourful homeware.

Life can be so tough... but its little things like these that lift the soul

Some notes I fished out

heee heee

happy... have been clearing my stuff and its really great. things feel more in order, i can reach out for stuff easier. i am obeying - reading/writing etc the stuff I need to. I feel I'm moving forward. That's a good feeling.

fished out some notes I scribbled after watching the making of LOTR... thought I'd just air it (haha)

>> Armor
The armor was built for the front only because they were never made to run back

>> Clothes and Props
Helped the characters to get into character

>> Detail
The detail that went into the LOTR set reminded me of God's instructions in the OT to His people for building things

Fight.

I am so happy to go to the gym. When I feel lazy, I should remember the times when I am not feeling well and can't go. ha

was great just releasing my angst there and feel that I had pushed some limits and have accomplished something. Did a 1/2 hour bike today. Hee. Used to wonder how people do it. Now I can. Now I know. To challenge yourself. To push yourself. To be consistent. I like these short excercise sessions. I don't feel drained but energized.

Haha... I love cartoon network games... just finished playing a pillow fight game using Buttercup! Hahahahahahahah.... nice to know I win sometimes. Been fighting... and fighting... and fighting... I want to win.

veggie dose

when i'm feeling blue... a dose of veggie tales is good.

its meant for kids but never fails to but a smile on my face with their tongue-in-cheek jokes. and some of them can only be appreciated by adults. that's the best part.

one of it is in Moe and the Big Exit. Instead of lone ranger, Moe is the lone stranger. it just cracked me up. a lot of the treatments were tastefully done, yet remains faithful to the essence of the story. And there is always a point to drive home. Here it was about relying on God's strength and His ways and His directions. Sure need to hear that now. And have Larry the cucumber and Bob the Tomato say the simple words... God loves you and made you special seemed so rudimentary yet so comforting. Doesn't everyone wants love? Acceptance? Why do we try so hard to look elsewhere?

Yeah... trusting God ... and waiting for His surprises... =)

Pre-Move

Hmm... found this blog post that was never uploaded. This was written when I was packing before moving house this year:

Feel like it's an 80's / 90's revival as I browsed through the boxes of cards... woo hoo! I feel loved. Wow. That people actually took the time to write to me. WOW. Nice, esp when I'm feeling like that. Ha. Ooh... the quirky and quaint things of the era - stickers, characters, colours... the people who repeatedly wrote... the people who cared, loved and was God's hand extended at terribly difficult moments at home at school. Just felt like my life flashed back twenty years... oh yes... not forgetting letters from past boyfriends (*guffaw*) & letters from 'buddy' at JC (LOL). Good memories.

Hmm... sense something NEW is going to take place. Am shocked that as I read my past journals, some of the issues are still the same, post 10 years... need to do something about that... Maybe that's why I settled on painting my room green - a new beginnning...

contrasts

some contrasts i love...

being a liberal fundamentalist

being an idealist realist

Quote of the day

"People need targets, goals, aims - visions. Otherwise they become lackadaisical, lazy, complacent, parochial and ineffective" Malcolm Widdecombe

My sentiments. Exactly.

I like reading. Somehow reading something you are feeling/ want to express paraphrased soothes. Strange.

Relaxed.

What a nice day... I don't feel like gg back to work tomorrow. Thinking of the pace... and gg to the gym tom and feel tired already. grin.

Feel so relaxed. Feel happy.

Today was a nice pace... waking up ... heading to the supermarket and buy stuff. So thankful for the vouchers... God provides... so I can bless. Truly. Happily buy the ingredients without worrying... and it was awesome.

Glad to be focused on planning and getting stuff together. And reading. And sorting. And just blogging. hahahahahah

Ooh... I had lots of fun making the bread and butter pudding (my first attempt) and also some lemongrass beef marinade that ended up looking like rendang. Yum. Heh. So glad the bread and butter pudding was a hit! Happy. It was really easy to make. And glad it touched many. hee. I LURVVVVVVVEEEE my cheap toaster oven. Yay! Yummy... I like bread and butter pudding too. Next time, I will make the brandied choc sauce that goes with it. heee hee. The lemongrass beef marinade was good. But something was missing. Some tang and some kick. Could have added more lemongrass and some lime. Hee hee...

Just glad to hang out with family... and talk... and feel cared for, loved and supported. Just to connect, chat and laugh together. Very precious. =)

counting blessings

things have really been really tough this week. thankful for some encouragement:

- had lunch and hung out with an ex-colleague yest. was really good to talk through some stuff back at the old work place. Gave me a better perspective of what things were/are. beyond that, was good to hang out with him. He has always been a great elder brother... always taking care of me... and I can trust him to be reliable, on time and there. what a privilege to be a friend of him.

- things at office has been really tough and painful. But... the good things are that beyond work... my colleagues are a bunch of joy, fun and oozes wackiness together. super fun. and its quite amazing that we can connect both on a crazy level but also on a philosophical level which is rather uncommon. =)

- life may be tough... but if it is fruitful... it is worth it. am skimming through a book... and read about the difficulties a couple had to go through, esp the wife. And realised that out of their kids, 2 were the famed John and Charles Wesley who really changed history. Yup... hoping deeply that the series of prolonged pain I have to weather... will really bear fruit into something that will last, something that will leave a legacy. As of now, I believe my life has inspired many... and pray that it will continue to do so. I want to endure to the end. God help me.

Gathered thoughts

On travel

Everything I come back, I feel like the slate is clean again. Time to recreate.

On consistency

My 1st 5km run on the treadmill taught me the joy of keeping in rhythm. It was strangely cathartic seeing the logo on the treadmill flow in and out. Some stability is good.

Sweet Saturday

I feel satisfied.

haha.

The whole week was rather challenging and was just going from one activity to another. So many plans but no time to execute.

Happy. Stayed at home the WHOLE day. What a privilege. What a comfort. What a luxury.

Today was to sort, so I can plan and action. My room is finally back in order. After my parents decided to redo my floor and moved out all my stuff. Many things were in chaos after which. Now... my book shelves are in order. Now... I know what books I need to read and which to return. Hahahahahaha...

Scrubbed my toilet... and now its all clean.... hahahahahaha....

I made my first Chinese clear soup today - a combi of bittergourd (bleh, dun think I'll ever use that again), potatoes, onions, carrots, mushrooms and chicken. Turned out ok. Added a dash of vinegar for some twang. Roasted a drumstick marinated with rosemary and pink perppercorns. Ooh... I love my oven... the skin is a golden brown and tastes yummy! It looks like the map of Aust. Ha. so glad I cleared out the fridge this week... now I'm enjoying the fruit of my labour. Hahah. Knowing what I have and what I can use. and NOT buying anything else (which I do sometimes, buying something without a specific use just because its there)...and maximising what I have. Hee hee. Happy.

Find myself having a new determination and focus. Glad. Yes, a lot more land to conquer. Let's start with the finance pile... ...

TGIF!!!!

Its FINALLY the weekend

Waited for this for the whole week.

Happy today - I realise changes are best implemented immediately. Was really frustrated that I was tired and was waking up late Mon-Thurs. Decided to do something about it. Stopped using the comp post 11 and went straight to bed by 12. Woke up nice and early this morn and was fresh. Brought a book and read some of it at breakfast. Sounds like a good idea. Should do this more. Am attempting to sleep early and wake early. Go walk/run too.

Went to the gym today - yay! Feel more focused and determined =)

Yay!!!! Its the weekend!!!!!! I have time to do interesting things and tackle things that need to be done... and plan!!!! Yay!!!!! I'm really happy!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!