The Poor and Needy... on His heart

Let's ROCK!

Grab Shell Dude! Papa God ROCKS!

My Future is As Bright As the Sky

Love East Timor

Love East Timor

I'm amazed... how Father God is moving... that He loves East Timor so much that He is calling His young people...

I used to champion missions, I still do. The only difference now is Papa God is changing the youths so much so that they WANT to GO! Wow. How awesome is that? The days of sowing have become a season of reaping a harvest. The tears become joy. I wonder why things had to be so tough... but the truth is if it was so easy to get, the joy would be lesser right? Heh...

I've never heard them saying they want to go. Now is the time. To Go forth.

I'm amazed I'm amazed I'm amazed I'm amazed I'm amazed I'm amazed...still amazed still amazed still amazed

its like a dream come true...... true.... true.... true.... true...

God... I think I've waited a long time for this to happen... I think you've waited longer... I'm glad I waited with you...High-Five!

long time no blog

wah... i haven't blogged for a couple of months... yearned to blog... but really haven't got that time to sit down and let it out...

pff... the last month and a half just flew by... so much has happened just these two months... I'm still taking it in... its as if ten thousand airplanes just passed you by and you're still trying to hold on to the railing so as not to fly away...

I'm blown away... by how Papa God loves me, and has a beautiful plan for me. Its a simple truth. Yet one of the hardest truths to believe. But after living these 26 years of my life... I can say truly - a resounding YES!!! Wah... how not to believe?

Wah... just really see a lot more of Papa God in a trip overseas and also this current youth camp. I'm just like WAHHHHHHHHHH.... amazed.... entirely... and just amazed... and amazed...

There were moments that were extremely trying (crying and using up a toilet roll) and also delirious joy (like eating jiao3 zi4 and tang1 bao1) the last 1.5 mths... but I wouldn't have chose anything else but to live this life...

hmm...coming back to "normal life"... just realised why year end is often so hectic... guess we are all trying to
a) give ourselves a treat for the year end - allowing ourselves to enjoy and also relax a little...
b) giving others treats, blessing them too...taking time to remember and appreciate them...
c) bringing closure to the year for our friends (writing Christmas cards) and our own lifes (reflecting back on the year- wondering about our new year resolutions)
d) Looking forward to the new year (starting afresh new resolutions heh)

Oh well... just can't help thinking back on this year... wow... still can't believe where Papa God has taken me... hmm.... still amazed...

So much I've loved, grown and learnt and matured and had fun and ate a lot and saw many new things...

I think this year I really feel like my age most - a bubbly 26 year old who lives life to the fullest! No crumbs. Living the life I was meant to live. =) In the hand of my Father.

Love ya Dada God!

journey on... the road less travelled

Ride on "The Mighty One"

Lattitudes of Silence

Motorcycle diaries... what a show...that depicts the state of my life now.
Punctuated in the journey of Ernesto was a book called "Lattitudes of Silence." That summed up for me the current journey.

Things have been silent. Slow. Quiet. Mellow.

Sometimes I enjoy it. Sometimes I hate it. And wish I would have none of it.

But I think God is saying something... that in silence, there is lattitude. I think He is broadening something. My capacity for quietness? My capacity to be still? My capacity to listen? My capacity to love? My capacity for tenacity? Probably all of the above. A test of my passion? A test of minimal fuel for the journey? A test of my consistency? Probably all of it too.

Just like the movie. No extreme highs or lows. Just a diary, just cruising. Just telling. Just recording. But brewing within are views, heart change, convictions, new thoughts being shaped. I wonder what will come out of this. I'll probably think about it a longer while.

Let me stay in the season til its due.

Just me and God

This song comforted me lots when at times I'm searching, thirsting, yearning. These are the times of intimacy with Him.

A broken spirit - He does not despise.

No one else knows - By Building 429
Lyrics:
My world is closing in
On the inside
But I'm not showing it
When all I am is crying out
I hold it in and fake a smile
Still I'm broken
I'm broken
Only one can understand
And only one can hold the hand
Of the broken
Of the broken
When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I've been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in your arms
Again
I need no explanation of why me
I just need confirmation
Only You could understand the emptiness inside my head
I am falling
I am falling
I'm falling down upon my knees
To find the one who gives me peace
I am flying
Lord I am flying
When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I've been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in Your arms
Again
I have come to you in search of faith
Cause I can't see beyond this place
Oh You are God and I am man
So I'll leave it in Your hands

Love all.

Your love has a broken wing if it cannot fly across the sea
Maltie D Babcock

Sing. Shout. Soar.

Redemption

The choir boys - a French DPS (Dead Poets Society) remake proves to be very heartwarming.

Clement Mathieu is so like Jesus - who see a bunch of "Beautiful letdowns" (as Switchfoot will call it) and brings us into our destinies.

Who loves. Who cares. Who gives. Who redeems.

No Jesus, no Jael. I would probably be wasting away now if not for Him. Probably be into lotsa destructive stuff.

Glad He found me and took me into His choir.

Choir gal Jael.

Finding who we are. Finding what we are worth.

Why not women?

Mulan- typical of many women trying to prove their worth.

Sad. But true.

Women from of old weren't even treated as human beings, though we were created equal and in the image of God.

Women - God honours and love women. Many need to know that. We don't need to prove our worth - we already have that.

Me too. Learning.

Been thinking about feminity and womenhood... how to be a women in the current time? Where sexy = feminine. The more you show, the more feminine you are. Bigger your boobs, more slender your waist, flatter your tummy, longer your legs, the better. Just look at the ads in the papers?

Why is there so much conformity to the 'perfect beauty'?

When can the reflection in the mirror be a true mirror of who we really are?

alo--ha!

Ohana

Finally living my age - catching up on old movies yeah!

Caught Lilo and Stitch. Ohana caught me.

Ohana means family - Nobody gets left behind... or forgotten.

Family. Ugly duckling finds family.

Me found family.

Live larger

Having this recurrent thought - we were made for so much more.
Live large!
This is a generation of significance, not survival.
A generation that questions and will find the answers that living life - is not about us, its about God. Its for Him and people.

Ginny Owens - Something more

I've spent half my lifetime
watching time go by
And wonderin' where it went
And when I try to fall asleep at night
I lay there feeling spent
Contemplating what the next day's
Gonna hold for me
Tossing, turning
My mind is churning thoughts won't let me be
Every morning meets me
With a list of all I have to do
And every evening greets me
With the knowledge that I'm never through
And every taste of success
Makes me vow to never fail
Feels like I just chase my tail
*chorus*T
here's gotta be something more
Than running circles for a living
Gotta be something better
Than just trying to survive
Gotta some more important piece
That I am missing
Gotta be something more to life
If every picture tells a story
Mine must be a mystery
Cuz I lose sight of who I am
And who I am supposed to be looking back at what I've built
and all that I've acheived
only leads me to believe
yeah
*chorus*
tired of these hopeless places bored with my earthly things
so i must fill my empty spaces with the love that heaven brings

Serve the Poor and Needy

Rainbows of Love and Dreams

Watched "GenerationHope" again. For the 3rd time or so.

God reminded me what He impressed so deeply when I watched it at Missions Xchange.

+Memory - that though I had forgotten about them, God did not.

++ Love and Dreams - who will paint a rainbow for the poor and needy?

The video opens with a song sung by girls who were poor - " I can see a rainbow" ...
When Lishan, the gal who filmed and edited that clip when interviewed said "Who will fill their rainbows"?

That really struck me. Rainbows are very special to me - Father God has always used rainbows to remind me of His love.

Read an article recently in the Straits Times where they featured young children forced to work at a young age. When these kids were interviewed, they said their dream was to go to school.

That pricked me. Here I am, having a chance of a lifetime to fulfill my dreams step by step. What a privilege. As I thought of the kids, I just wish I could also tell them we have a Father who makes dreams come through. I wish I could build a school for them. Who will fill their rainbows? I want to.

I want to be a channel for Father's love and character to flow through. I want to help make dreams of the poor and needy children come through. I want to.

I want to learn to live in Singapore - balanced. Not ascetic nor luxuriant. Not over sensitive nor hardened. I want to be tender. I'm glad that the theme for J21 is serving the "poor and needy" this year. When I read the papers, I feel human. I want to cry. When Father pours more of His compassion, I feel. I feel sad. I don't ignore the news. I don't shield myself off from them. I cry. I pray. I participate.

I wonder what Father would have me to do in my life... the rest of it ... to serve the poor and needy... and to see them to Christ. I'm normal. I'm afraid. Would I die tortured? Would I suffer illnesses? Would I be terribly lonely? Would I have the courage? Would I pay the cost?

I'm no heroine. I'm no superwoman. I'm just Jael. Wanting to do my part. Lord, lead me on. Would you?

Feast. No crumbs. Banquet.

Throughout this year... this theme runs... just keep developing... like a story...

In KY family camp... God showed me a part of Him that I needed to know - His full generosity. The theme of the camp was "In His Presence" where the invitation was to feast in His presence.

He was so real... during 'worship'... He showed me strawberries and I cheekily asked for it to be dipped in choc and then He showed me tables and tables full of it. And He said - eat all you want. The next session, He showed me ice cream... and then endless tubs of it.

At KY a month ago, also during 'worship', I saw a rose. And then He showed me fields of them and told me that He will give me all the flowers I ever want.

His generosity. His fullness. His desire. To give so much. Overflowing. Not witholding anything.

And then CP launches the 40 Day Purpose driven Life. As I was doing the design, the theme 40 day adventure came for the youths... and the tagline: NO CRUMBS. That we were not servants that we needed to eat the crumbs of the Father's table. But we feast with Him. We have a rich inheritance! We can live life to the max! We want the real thing. We live a purpose charged, energy pumping, full life. Not gonna settle for anything less. That was also confirmed by Rev David Palmer who spoke on that passage.

No crumbs.

Tonite, at J21 9-11 prayer concert... Siew Lee spoke about God having a banquet. Where only a minority was served and many were not. Those were not could only watch.

That really struck a chord that we as a generation, was to share our Father's generosity. Not just eatting and overeatting and stuffing ourselves silly because the food is continuous and just never stops. We are to give. We are to feed the ones that were not served. We are to share with them our Father's generosity, that they may know that they can live a purpose charged life. That they may have hope. Just feel like crying. May we go and feed them, clothe them and love them.

Tying my shoelaces when I'm ready

Just watched Raising Helen with my couz today. Watching Helen evokes many similar things I'm facing...

Like where she yells at Pastor Dan about how she has to sacrifice so much, losing her job, her social life, her disposable income etc so that she could raise her deceased sister's children.

Well... me've been trying... trying to get things together... in this new season. Tackling things that I rather hide and pretend that they don't exist. Also transiting. Also accepting. Also tussling with conflicts. Balancing. Surrendering. Loving what I do yet miss the bright lights of the media advertising industry. The feeling that I am in control. The feeling that I was one of the best and uprising media planners. The money that I was earning. The parties. The priority passes. The corporate clothes. The J21 and CP kids' ministry 'successes', people knowing me, people looking up to me. I belonged. Somewhere.

Versus: The repititive portion of a website that I was doing this week. Sometimes I feel that I have to stoop so low mentally just to earn this bit of money? Sigh. For my part time job - Feeling like a small fry in a big organisation. In KY and CP, no formal ministry, no voice, no platform, no consistent mass group of people to give out all that is stored within me. Versus wanting to be in KY but need to stay in CP. I don't know where I belong.

Having to learn that my identity doesn't come from how much I earn. Its just hard when you don't have much money. Having to learn belonging. Wanting to be part of somewhere but finding myself in many places. Enjoying the flexibility and mobility yet yearn for the stability and consistency. Just wish there was a good balance of enough mobility for freshness and enough stability for my soul's sake. I just want to settle down. And yet move around. . Heh. Wanting to belong but circumstances don't facillitate that.

Its so hard to feel so small. Its hard to feel nomadic.

Not much money. Not much looks. Not much skill for the current jobs. Not much ministry. Not much anything. Dunno where I belong.

Father God... I need you to be my security, identity, significance and stability. Just feel like a wreck at times. I need to be home.

Trying too hard to be perfect. To be the best videographer NOW. To be the best flash designer. To handle this transition best. To contribute and balance my best in the 3 churches and J21. To have it all. To have my cake and eat it. To surrender a love. To choose love over jealousy. To be content. To settle down. To do big things. To speak and reach vast audiences. To impact lifes consistently. To want to be perfect now. To want all my dreams fulfilled now. To make it 'big'. To me 'something' or 'somebody'.

Yet this season is also of ::Sense and Sensibility:: and also the ::Martha:: in me going through a ::Mary:: season. To learn and accept unmerit grace, love, slower pace, lesser expectation. To learn to love and spend time with people. To put the more important things above. In quietness - to ponder, to reflect, to discuss, to discourse, to inherit, to internalise. To put pillars and foundations in my life. To listen. To observe. To learn. To respect. To honor. To think through. To cherish. To process. To understand. To store up. Quietly. Sensibly. Ha, but missing the spontaneity of mine!

Help me know as what Sarah in the show needed to know: I don't have to tie my shoelaces now. I can tie them when I'm ready. That I don't have to strive to be perfect in my new field now. The big shoes I'm wearing now... you show me how to tie them... that one day I can tie them myself and walk comfortably in them. That I don't have to have it all together.

A Season of Quietness

Going through a season of quietness. Perhaps the renovation God is doing in my life already causes so much noise that deep within me, I just stay quiet.

Its funny. To see yourself quiet. Normally chatty, chirpy and many times like a "energizer rabbit" turn recluse (?). I guess I'm just processing deeply. Deep in thought, deep in brokeness. Guess the butterfly had to stay still when it was still a caterpillar mothing out of its cocoon.

Didn't say much at a super good friend's birthday party last night.
Stuttered often recently.
Struggled to introduce myself last night at a J21 pre-concert run through.

Such a stark difference. From the Jael who was speaks her mind. From the Jael who presented million dollar media plans. From the Jael who speaks passionately.

Maybe God is humbling me. From the corporate gal. From the "I can do it all" gal. Reduced to nothing.

Trusting a new confidence will emerge. Trusting that my identity in God is so rooted that nothing shakes it. Trusting Father God.

If it takes a season of quietness to let God do whatever He need, let it be.

A moment in Time

Kisses... on a blue sky... from a sista...

Realist Idealist

Space. To roam. Space. To collect ideas. Space. To explore.

That's what I did today.

Just seems like what I'm collecting is bursting out of its seams.

I want to be. I want to be. I want to be. I want to be. I want to be.

A designer. An artist. A photographer. A font creator. A fashion desginer.

I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to. I want to.

To create. To evoke beauty. To call out compassion. To jolt. To have my own label. To add meaning. To change. To make a difference.

I will. One day. Because I have a Father God who gave me dreams. Dreams that are maps and His blueprints. Blueprints with His fingerprints.

Sandcastles become real castles with a real princess. My King stays there.

Love 100%

Master Navigator.

Spring.

Seek Him and You will Find

Fresh Taste from a Timeless Classic

Had a hectic weekend with a speaking engagement ( and the drama that went along) + a friend's mother's wake + a splitting headahce the night before...

Was glad to have breakfast with my Father God. Writing and pouring my heart out to Him.

And listening to Him from an old Psalm. With a fresh interpretation in my current circumstance.

Wow. A fresh taste from His word. Wow.

Just energises my whole soul and being. Woo Hoo. Suddenly, like a tide that comes in, I'm refreshed.

Suddenly, I could face the whole world again.

Dreams - bedrock of His thumbprint

I believe dreams are foundational to how God has designed our lives.

The ability to dream is the ability to create. Engineered in our DNA.

Why we are humans and not just animals.

Dreams do come true. Dreams need feet. Dreams go through seasons.

Of failure. Of longing. Of streamlining. Of pain. Of birthpangs.

The people who really made an impact are the people who dared to dream.

And perservered to add feet to their lofty dreams.

To hold fast amidst the winds of brokeness, rejection, doubt, pain and ridicule.

Funny how we only reward people only when they 'made it' and not when they start.

I think Singaporeans need to dream. Need to dream big.

Because God has designed us to be a BIG BLESSING to nations. Wow.

If He has big dreams, why do we live in our cocoon of condos, comfort, compromise, contempt and cynicism?

Dream. Dream. Dream. Be free to dream.

They do come true. I'm living mine.

Getting life in order

Its funny how packing my room gives me a sense of order.

When life seems out of control. When you don't seem to get things in order. When life gets messy. When life seems just too much.

Yeah.

Singing too. Singing that God is the God of wonders beyond our galaxy. He is Holy. Holy. The universe declares His majesty. He is Holy, Holy. God of heaven and earth. Brings order. Because He holds it all. Not me.

Yeah.

Guess we are imperfect. Life is imperfect. There will never be a time where we get it all together. Life changes all the time. We are transiting all the time. We are moving on all the time. The consolation? I'm doing it better. Day by day. Step by step. Firmer in Him. Closer to Him. Walking into my destiny. Fulfilling dreams and desires.

Why be enough all the time? Why try so hard to be perfect? Why do we need to win all the time? We can never be. We can never. On this earth.

Well. I suppose we put the important things in place. The rest will follow. Love. Love. Love. Love God. Love people. I love Sam from "I am Sam". He knows the most important thing. Love.

Glad Pfeiffer in that movie had begun to get things together - loving Willie, her kid.

My room IS getting neater. My systems are getting more efficient. I am doing the things I dreamed of doing for years. There may be still many. But I'm getting there. Surer. Sooner.

But... more so... I love more. I understand what Love is more each day. I love Daddy God. And I know He loves me. I feel His love for other people. I love them too. Love... the most important thing you can have. The most important thing you can give.

Dreams are made to come true

Too many people dare not pursue their dreams.
Too many people dare not take that risk.

I'm glad I did. I'm glad I am.

God gives dreams to give an indication of His plans and purposes for us. So why stop dreaming?

Dreams are free. But of course there is a price to build the foundations to the sand castles. Why not?

And dreams with God are only the dreams worth pursuing. Having lots of money is a good dream. But it is empty unless God is in there. Having lots of businesses is a good drea,. But it is empty unless God is in there. My dreams are from God, for God, and accomplished with God. No other alternatives.

I soar. I live. I dream. I bless.

Testimony of His Love
I'm looking for a rainbow,
somewhere in the sky
Wishing for a shooting star,
just for you and I
I dream of pretty flowers,
a garden of my own
A place where I could find my dreams,
a place to call my home.
I'm waiting for a miracle,
a reason to believe
Searching for an answer,
a destiny for me
I hope for rain and sunshine
and laughter all the time
I pray that God would colour
this empty world of mine.
Bridge:
If only to Him you'd turn your eyes
You'd find the faith to realize
Chorus:
For He is my life. He is my soul
I know that God is in control
No matter what the world may be
He's there for you and me
For He is my life. He is my soul
I know that God is in control
'Cos all that He does
Is a testimony
Of His love

Feel so weak.
Feel so lousy.
Am I able to wear the big size shoes Daddy God wants me to?
The challenges that lie ahead, seems big.

Yet I know Daddy is here. I'm gonna trust the restrains that He places. And fully enjoy the roller coaster ride with Him. Hands in the air. Screaming in fun.

I'm beautiful. I shine. Through His eyes
I am His sunshine, when skies are grey.
I reflect His glory because I am His.

My destiny is in Him. No one can take it away.
Nobody else can fulfill that but me.

I live my life - through His eyes. I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Through His Eyes
When God is in your heart
Reflecting all that He sees
He'll remind you that He's there for you
To be all you can be
He is the truth and light
He will take away your fears
With His strength, all your weaknesses
will truly disappear
Chorus
When you look
in the mirror of His heart
You will see
just how special you are
For you'll find beauty,
And glory. His destiny
He will show you
His purpose to be
more than you can be
He will give you wings
And you'll soar to the sky
If only you can see your life
Through His eyes

Father God's endless love

Fragmented hearts yearning for wholeness. We look left, we look right yet its all found in Jesus. What we want - endless love, revelatory knowledge, help in times of need is found in the omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient God. Who else can take His place?

Father God... so dear... so loving... so close... only wants the best for us...
Father God... never fails... never leaves... never abandons...
Father God... always here. Always awake. Always loves.

The Father's Hand
Verse 1
In your despair and deepest sorrow
When you are standing
in the midst of pain's sharp arrows
You carry on to face tomorrow's failing light
It is love that will see you through the night
When there is doubt and fierce uncertainty
And there is darkness all around,
you can't see where to go
You struggle on and find there is no end in sight
It is faith that will see you through the night
Chorus
He knows your pain. He'll never let you go
He gently holds your precious soul
He lifts you high and in His love you'll stand
Because you're holding the Father's Hand
Verse 2
You cry to God when you are overwhelmed
He'll lead you to a rock
that's higher than where you'll ever be
You battle on to face the journey's darkest fight
It is love that will see you through the night
When troubles come and courage fades away
When you are sinking
in the midst of life's stormy seas
You triumph on and find within a hope so bright
It is faith that has seen you through the night
Chorus
He lifts you up He wants to let you know
He gently holds your precious soul
He lifts you high and in His love you'll stand
Because you're holding the Father's Hand

Love, is all you need

Just watched David Tao in concert... what amazes me is his passion for making music. How he is not just there to make money i.e. commercialism but also to share his music with people. You can feel his dedication. You can see his dedication. He is involved from the production to the sound engineering and wow... it sure was a great concert.
 
I like passionate people. People who live their life strongly... not just by the trends or just passing by. But people who feel... people who fight... people who go lengths to do what they believe in...
 
I like David Tao.
 
I admire him for standing up for love. One of his song is called "Love, so simple" (oopz... i know this sounds very singlish... haha... its a direct translation from Chinese...hahah... maybe it should be - Love, its just that simple).
 
That was his last song for the concert. And it just sums up what he stood for, of how his music was to spread love. That he wants people to remember not him nor his songs that night but the atmosphere of love. Wow. The cynics will call it a marketing gimmick. But I think he meant it. Sometimes being passionate is foolish, from a cynic's point of view. Naive and idealistic. Hmm... but love is irrational many times. And God's love is. I used to be a MAJOR cynic. But the more I know God's love, the more 'unreal' it seems... but it IS real. That changes me. Love changes cynics. Its not that I'm a naive airhead that thinks the world is all roses but rather a new paradigm. I know I'm loved. I know God loves. Yet I know there is Sin that destructs. Its not God who creates evil, its us who in rebellion causes God to lift that protection. Sigh... if only we saw things in light... there will be less evil...
 
Yeah.... more love... that's what the world needs... its just so simple. Love. Not money, not power, not more material things nor even spiritual medals... but Love... No wonder God's 2 greatest commandments was to Love God and then to love people. Period.
 
Love. Like Jesus. Love.

Choice, Forfeit or Pursue Destiny

Spidey 2 was great! Could just identify with the humanity of a superhero.
The stuff that God tasks us to do... just makes us like a superhero - so many times beyond us.

Many times as we struggle with our humanity and also the price of our calling, we often forget that God is a Father who gives, not demands. We sometimes forget that the price seems big, but it is actually so tiny compared to the glory He will get and the fulfillment we will get by walking in our destiny. And that price often comes in a package of a relationship... the likes of Mary Jane.

Ha! No forfeit of my destiny for a bowl of gruel! Not gonna be as foolish as Esau!
God... keep me in your path!

The Choice is Yours... To Hear and Disobey or To Hear and Obey. Choice of a new generation... Hear and Obey! 

He sees me through the seasons

Every evening sky, an invitation to trace the patterned stars
and early in july, celebration for freedom that is ours
and i notice you in childrens' games
in those who watched them from the shade
every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

Aand even when the trees, have just surendered to the harvest time
forfeiting their leaves in late september
and sending us inside, still i notice you when change begins
and i am braced for colder winds
i will offer thanks, for what has been and whats to come
You are autumn

And everything in time, and under heaven finally falls asleep
wrapped in blankets white, all creation shivers underneath
and still i notice you, when branches crack and in my breath on frosted grass
even now in death, you open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything thats new, has bravely surfaced
teaching us to breathe
what was frozen through, is newly purposed
turning all things green, so it is with You
and how You make me new, with every season's change
and so it will be, as You are re-creating me

summer, autumn, winter, spring

- Nicole Nordeman << Every Season >>

This song is precious. Learning about seasons.

Especially this time when I enter into spring. Winter was tough.. cold and also dreary at times. Some things close to my heart... had to die too. To make a way for the new.

As I entered spring... Wow... seeing all things new... seeing new purpose... being recreated. Wow. I am arising as God's darling.. venturing with Him in new places, meeting new people... travelling with Him... and enjoying spring. Such a beautiful season. Flowers. Colours. All things new. I have such a beautiful Daddy God who loves me and wants only the best for me. Awesome...

He makes all things beautiful...

Love ya, Daddy God!

Standing up to the voices in the past

I cringe every time you cut yourself down

You hide your pain like it doesn't count

So when I hear you laugh are you crying deep inside

'Cause you fall below the standards in your mind

Though you'd never deny our God's a loving God

You feel He turns away when you make mistakes

But our heavenly Father nurtures His own

To Him you matter more than you'll ever know



So let the Lord love you

Let His voice be heard above the rest

Hold on to what you know is true

And let the Lord love you



We may search for truth, but we listen more to lies

Play them over and over in our minds

Till we're left with some distorted point of view

That cripples who we are and all we do

There are times you've gotta fight for all you're worth

Stand up to the voices from the past

And as you draw close to Him the more moments you'll have

When His love overwhelms and you know it's true



That the Lord, He loves you

So let His voice be heard above the rest

Hold on to what you know is true

And let the Lord love you

You gotta let the Lord love you



- Rory Noland

As a media artist... its so easy to just live for standards. Falling short of our own standards or others seem a sin...

Why should we? When we partner with God and do the best within a given time... we've already advanced and improved... even if others do not like it... God still does...He's the ultimate critique...

Past failures can be obstacles. Stand up stand up Jael...to the voices of the past... voices of failure... voices that say you must succeed... now! voices that say you're nothing... because YOU ARE NOT! You are fearless in Christ. He loves you! =)

Changin the Past

I've always thought one cannot change the past.

I was wrong.

I like what Ashton Kutcher said when he was interviewed about his new flick "the butterfly effect". He said this:

"I think we do have the ability to change our past by our current actions and the things we do." He goes on to elaborate that with every current step he takes, he changes the past by overcoming obstacles and by making the wrong things in the past better / right.

If you think deeper, what you do now, will become past. Facing the present, making adjustments and changes, will effect the past. The past then becomes better.

No wonder God said that He is "I am". Not "I was" or "I will be". I value God more. With him I do not need to live in my past. But I can have hope and strength to accept the past and face the NOW. In facing the NOW, I shape the past and the future. Wow.

Thank you Jesus! =) Love ya!