Risk.

The power to risk is in the promise of God

. Obedience is risk. The bottom line comfort and assurance in all our risk-taking for Christ is that nothing will ever separate us from the love of God.

Every good poised to bless us, and every evil arrayed against us, will in the end help us boast only in the cross, magnify Christ, and glorify our Creator. Faith in these promises frees us to risk and to find in our own experience that it is better to lose our life than to waste it.

- John Piper

Resurrect.

“If the vision or idea is from God, it’s worth fighting for, and also worth waiting for – in God’s good time."

– Howard Brant

“...When you hold your dreams with open hands, you get to watch God resurrect what seemed dead and multiply what seemed small.”

Value.

When we truly embrace the revelation of God’s heart for us, the struggle to feel important is settled.

trust.

We can't control the way our family responds to us. When it comes to the behavior of others toward us, our hands are tied. We have to move beyond the naive expectation that if we do good, people will treat us right. The fact is they may and they may not--we cannot control how people respond to us.

I can't assure you that your family will ever give you the blessing you seek, but I know God will. Let God give you what your family doesn't. If your earthly father doesn't affirm you, then let your heavenly Father take his place.

God has proven himself as a faithful father. Now it falls to us to be trusting children. Let God give you what your family doesn't. Let him fill the void others have left. Rely upon him for your affirmation and encouragement. Look at Paul's words: "You are God's child, and God will give you the blessing he promised, because you are his child" (Gal. 4:7, emphasis added).

[And] don't lose heart. God still changes families.

- Max Lucado

Whom.

In any museum we will find quite ordinary things - clothes, a
walking stick, a pen, pieces of furniture - which are only of
value because they were possessed and used by some great person.
It is the ownership which gives them worth. It is so with the
Christian. The Christian may be a very ordinary person, but he
acquires a new value and dignity and greatness because he
belongs to God. The greatness of the Christian lies in the fact
that he is God's.

- William Barclay

Being.

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Dance Away.

Hearing God’s Music - Max Lucado

Let's imagine that you want to learn to dance. Being the rational, cerebral person you are, you go to a bookstore and buy a book on dancing. You take the book home and get to work.

Finally, you think you’ve got it, and you invite your wife to come in and watch. You hold the book open and follow the instructions step by step. You even read the words aloud so she’ll know that you’ve done your homework. “Lean with your right shoulder,” and so you lean. “Now step with your right foot,” and so you step. “Turn slowly to the left,” and so you do.

You continue to read, then dance, read, then dance, until the dance is completed. You plop exhausted on the couch, look at your wife, and proclaim, “I executed it perfectly.”

A Gentle Thunder“You executed it, all right,” she sighs. “You killed it.”

“What?”

“You forgot the most important part. Where is the music?”

Music?

You never thought about music. You remembered the book. You learned the rules. You laid out the pattern. But you forgot the music.

“Do it again,” she says, putting in a CD. “This time don’t worry about the steps; just follow the music.”

She extends her hand and the music begins. The next thing you know, you are dancing—and you don’t even have the book.

We Christians are prone to follow the book while ignoring the music. We master the doctrine, outline the chapters, memorize the dispensations, debate the rules, and stiffly step down the dance floor of life with no music in our hearts. We measure each step, calibrate each turn, and flop into bed each night exhausted from another day of dancing by the book.

Dancing with no music is tough stuff.

“Let God have you, and let God love you—and don’t be surprised if your heart begins to hear music you’ve never heard and your feet learn to dance as never before.”

Daily.

"The great hindrance in spiritual life is that we will look for big things
to do. 'Jesus took a towel . . . and began to wash the disciples' feet.'
There are times when there is no illumination and no thrill, but just the
daily round, the common task. Routine is God's way of saving us between our
times of inspiration. Do not expect God always to give you His thrilling
minutes, but learn to live in the domain of drudgery by the power of God."

Oswald Chambers

Reset

After all the "madness"... been wonderful to rest and chill these few days.

So so so thankful that I'm off this week. Thankful for my bosses. Desperately needing these days. When I am busy, my room reflects it. Glad to just "reset" - back to normal. Putting my shoes back, arranging my clothes, washing my laundry etc. Just been like that these few days - cleaned up my computer today. Finally backed up. Arranged my contacts. Good. Happy.

Happier to spend time with family - esp mom. Dad. Aunties. Even far away Aussie cousins. Just nice. To take time out to assist, chip in, chat, laugh.

Just a few more days to 2008... Though things are still tough but somehow I am looking forward to it...

Gingerly

Yay... the day passed by in quick motion, almost in a blur-like-motion. Towards 2 plus 3 I was almost gone. Ha. But happy tired. Fulfilled tired. Makes me happy to see the "A-Po" enjoy the chix wings and Satay. Feel glad people are served. Truly... things don't just pop up, but crafted, thought through and hard, sweat and tears are given out.

Thankful for people who take care of me, like bringing me a plate of food or getting me a drink. Amazed at the dedication of many, who really go all out for this cause. Seeing the old folks enjoy taking the photo amidst the set, really warms my heart. The entire message of the production this Christmas - Its not about reindeers or Christmas trees, but of family. Seeing the old folks connect with their past and living in the present was lovely. Priceless. Unity is so delicate. Handle people with care.

Thankful for this gingerbread man. Had been living off love to serve, sugar and caffeine to keep going the last week. Tasted good, but even more thankful for the friend who gave it to me. Made it taste extra good. Yeah, I do have a lot of things to be thankful of. Sometimes I look at myself - I see my flaws, my mistakes, my weaknesses. So badly needing grace and be free from worry and from the viewpoints of others. Learning what it means to follow and die to all other viewpoints except for One. Learning to rest in the fact that I'm loved, special and mean a lot to the One who gave His life for me. Resting.

Thankful I remembered the cake, thankful I have a friend to go with me, thankful my parents are cool about me scratching their car... thankful I have them. Thankful I am loved.

Glad I can take a breather today/ tonight. I can sleep in tom... Yay! Needing it lots, lots, lots!!!!

forward.

gosh. super sleepy now... have to last the next few days.......

heee

but super fun. and amazing - the set up, the music, the songs, the atmosphere, the people etc... and the rain stop... power! i think one of the best parts is that everyone was acting themselves, almost. beautiful.

gg to be a longgggg day tom... but sure its gonna be interesting. Have not felt such comaraderie ever... this is special. really family.

gg to pick up stuff, design, print, chop, video tom... and wake up in time for service the next day. ha.

super thankful i get to use the car tom... and also mom and dad may be coming...

gg to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep contentedly. =)

much ado about many things

Its been a whirlwind these last few days... super sleepy now... lots of fun but also battling some stuff... but having loads of fun... haha... enjoy the BUZZZZZZZZZZ

hmm.. learning to juggle expectations... and balancing time... and giving... still scared... but getting better...

i do enjoy organising... haha... must learn to appreciate my giftings... guess in a fun setting, its fun... but oh well... good training from work I suppose... (though its less fun then)... good to have great team members. really fun. glad I could use my design skills somehow... somewhere... yeah... all these years of training are not in waste... never... but such a high price to pay... ... learning not to compare and wish i was doing something more 'fun' like acting/ dancing/singing etc... and to stop wishing i was more musically talented. but be happy. with my role. i have fun too. hee.

so thankful... met up with a good friend who is pregnant and she gave me jelly beans!!! hehe. and also a friend treated me to a pedicure... ooh... purple nails with silver fancy french tips... hee... happy... the massage was great! good to catch up and all... glad to use some thai seasoning and cook a simple yet yummy meal. ha! i'm getting there... for asian food. Grin. was fun to laugh over things with the 3 gals... and exchange stories... yeah... the best things in life can be so simple...

learning to wait too... that it is redemptive rather than relentless... trusting. resting and quieting my soul. life can be hard, easy, painful, fun... such extremes. ha.

time to sleep.

Art Housed.

i feel very happy with my christmas lights and my m&ms christmas ornaments. ha. wanted to get a christmas tree but could not find a suitable one. So... I decided to just drape the lights over my shelves of toys and hang the ornaments on my accesories rack. ha. love it! its Christmas!!!! heh. going to watch Hoops and Yoyo Christmas CD soon! heeeeeee

listening to some light Jazz with Tony Bennett... nice... and soft yellow lighting... heh... been dreaming of this set up since Uni days... ever since I stepped into Eden's room. Heh. Now I have my own room with yellow lighting and dreamy music. Nice. The little pleasures of life that make life a little more bearable... and enjoyable. balances out the pain??? been moody these last 2 days

really enjoyed today... had a meeting in the morning... felt more reason to go through the difficult training I am going through now... felt privileged to be part of something bigger than myself...

met some old friends for lunch... haha... funny how different idealogies and directions people can pursue... but still fun to hang out once in a while. life really does move on. with people getting married, having kids, changing jobs... life is sure more than that... but it involves that too... just glad to know that though they may not fully understand, but I know they love and support me in their own ways.

hmm... glad to have picked up a lovely white skirt... yay! another basic to my wardrobe!!!! =) it was slightly shiny and it fits to a T. *glad*

ooh... went through a chapter of "What Good are the Arts?" Feel I understand more... good!

just glad to meet Meen and Tom... to Meen who understands, shares my journey and values. just feel like my heart can rest when I talk to her. its really good to have met Tom... just to dialogue and hear his heart and vision. so glad for both of them. i can't ask for better art-gallery friends here... was fun visiting the UtterRubbish useLESS exhibition. Yay, in the words of Tom, paying money to see trash. Ha. I really enjoyed the whole exhibition. It was fresh, quirky and soothing. Love the place - old Supreme Court. Just fun to weave in and out of the place. Great to see design moving towards sustainability. happy to hang out with Meen and Tom. Was sure fun!

Today is sure artsy day! dropped by the Esplanade, picked up a few DVDs and walked through some artsy installation and picked up some brochures etc. So fun. So much visual food. yay!heeeeeeeeeee happpyyyyyyyyy

applied for a job online but arghhhhhh did not save a copy and just because that i did not fill in a blank, the form was reset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got really upset... but was reminded that at least here, I could get employment. In places like East Timor, even if you wanted, you could not. SO... I DECIDED TO BE THANKFUL. heeeeeeeeeee

yeah... life goes on... next week seems exciting... even tomorrow... just glad there are fun things lined up... and little things that keep me happy... just fighting bitterness, boredom and sadness... remembering to trust, look up and move on....

so long...

i stopped blaming myself for somethings that happened. just let go of that. feel free. even tonight and even my life... perhaps i should not try so hard. like jojo says... trying hard loses the intuitive touch. and i find myself excelling in things i don't strive. maybe i should just relax.

want to have an open hand... yet not non-chalant... ??? letting go more and more... not to fight for so much control....

healing.

these few days i'm really sad and rather blue. reaching for joy.

just taken aback by the grace that is so plentiful. so much favour, undeserved merit. I think when in pain, I appreciate the love of God and people a lot more. Especially when I know that they are channels of His love, extensions of His hand and a special touch from Him.

thankful, grateful, amazed.

came back and heard i got a missed call from a dear friend who is in Scotland...

received my first Christmas gift... a nice photo frame!

stayed over at my favourite family's place - enjoying the warmth, security and familiar surroundings and people. I felt so welcome that it felt like my second home. Perhaps the home I wish for. A lovely Christmas tree, their family portraits, their photos, their pets, their decor... brings stability to me... I felt enjoyed by the children and had fun just chatting, playing scrabble and painting nails! happy to see my life impacted rachy's and i meant something to her and the family. Was great to chat with aunty and to know she really loves me. Her hug was special. It said so much more than words could. That she understood. That she loves me. That she wishes me the best. it was so comforting just to be with them and be there. really lovely. really really love this family so much. feel so comforted. really hope to raise a family like this, God willing.

really cool to meet up with good old JC friends... whom we've journeyed over the years. just had a lot of fun together chatting, swooning over the new born, taking time to carry her and just continuing to enjoy the journey together. felt understood. felt closeness. was good.

i dread weddings but it gives me an excuse to dress up. wasn't feeling too perky. ended up wearing a LBD -little black dress, with a pretty green shawl and silvery earrings and bangle. Funny to see how a friend was in black and red accessories. ha. felt very encouraged by her that she enjoyed my NY pix - she has great artsie sense. Felt recognised. Heh. weddings can be pretty fun... glad to see some old friends again... old colleagues... and acquaintances I met over the last few years. Friends whom we served together, worked together and weathered through things together. So lovely to know I've a friend whom I can be real with and not give a fair weather answer. Glad to have a good friend come up and ask how I am. Good to get hugs from my 2 fav ex-colleagues/pals. i feel loved. And to remember the good times I had with all of them. So precious. Really.

I had a dear mentor who commented that the video we did for him was really useful and good. Felt happy yet sad. Feel fruitful yet down, not sure why. Nevertheless, it was still encouraging.

Best of all... I got to spend loads of time with one of my most treasured friends... whom I had spent inordinate time with... perhaps the MOST time I had spent with a single friend all my life. Love her so much. Just good to connect, be honest, pour our hearts out and laugh at things. In her hug, there's just so much unsaid too. Love, understanding and care. Things money can't buy.

Yeah... whilst playing scrabble, I wanted to make the word "Money"... but somehow ended up with the words "Honey". Yeah... perhaps compared to my friends, I am making really little money... and I am wishing for more. But perhaps the "Honey" I gained is much better than the "Money" I foregone.

deep.

Behind every earthly trial, there is a spiritual reason that man can never see with the naked eye. It takes the revelation of God to tear the veil away so that we can see the real root, the real cause, the real answer.

walking along.. singing a song

heh. got this line off a hoops and yoyo song. i love them!!! will take them travelling next time to take pix

hmm... happy day. have not felt SOOOOOOOOOO happy for a LOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGG time. Hee hee. was fun. went for a party this morn and soooooooo good to catch up and connect with new people. so fun so fun so fun! enjoyed the food. sometimes its good to enjoy and not the one behind it all the time. different joys =). glad for friends and being able to connect. fun just gg to MAAD and hang out. Got inspired and went to People's park and get my pliers (finally), a ear-ring holder (Yipee!) and also a golden wing. Ooh... ha. It was only $1.9! compared to River Island's overpriced one. Came back and just being happy over my purchases and also fixing and making new jewellery! Heh. Oh yes, FINALLY got a nice cute bag with the black and white pattern I've been wanting for a REALLLLLLYYYYYY long time! Yay!!!!! Such satisfaction. Hee

glad - got some stuff done and organised. Yay. Just very happy today. Thankful - was dreading the weekend but glad God sent friends to gladden the day and brighten the skies. So glad to be happy and joyful.

Still sorting out stuff - health, work, insurance etc... but with a gladder spirit. Yeah... not everything is smooth. But at least my outlook is better. Hee. Learning what it means to follow my heart yet also be wise and still seek.

Clear and Stable

So thankful for today- one of those days where I am CLEAR and STABLE. Hope for more days like this to come.

Glad I know where I'm heading, and the focus this time. Weathering the current and the crossroads. Research.

Ran through some material and came across this definition of leadership that is worth a peek - that it is an ability to meet the needs of people by helping them to accomplish their goals. Interesting, so often leadership is obtain a self or organisation's goal... but yes, there's also the personal goals.

Yay! I finished reading Jack Trout/ Ries book on positioning. Yeah... these concepts were tosssed around school and just crammed during exams. Glad to be able to study more indepth what all these concepts really really mean. Ha.

Happy to just catch Nigella on TV and whip up an orange, cream, fish, garlic sauced pasta, just for myself. So glad, I feel the energy returning...

Gg to sleep soon =)