lost

ha... it happened to me.

always wondered how could people lose their phones.. ha... i just did... had 3 bags to carry (one laptop bag, one tripod and one camera bag) and my pants did not have any pockets to store my phone. sigh.

and i lost a precious orange adidas watch given by a super close friend last week... ARGH.... heart wrenching...hmm....

i normally dun lose things... super seldom... hmm...

oh well... looking at the bright side... a few lessons:

>> understanding others instead of judging...

>> when things are lost, you know how precious they are to you

>> i can get a new phone... the old must go so the new can come... been wanting a phone to sync with my ical. sped up change i suppose. ha.

life... when you can't beat it... just laugh along...

Drive

Its terribly exciting.

To wait for God to give.

Been bitter. But learnt to forgive. Learnt to trust God. Learnt to surrender. Learnt to look to God to provide. Many years I wanted to drive. Not so much for the status but for the mobility. A symbol of freedom. Always hoped my dad would be like other dads who let me drive. All these years he did not allow me. All these years I struggled. Blamed. Been angry. Feeling deprived. All these years (since I passed), the new year resolution is to pick up driving again.

Today. Is the day. I had 1.5 hrs of refresher driving class (2nd one). After that, I took the car, with my dad in the passenger's seat, going to Margaret Drive. Wow. To many people, that's kinda normal. To me, its a MIRACLE. What a release! What a year of turnaround. Awesome. I'm awe struck.

And every drive out is the furthest I went. Like my hair... every inch it grows, is the longest it has been. Just pretty exciting... ha.

teachability

a friend said this... you can either be mouldy or mouldable.

found that quite funny.

Assurance

Was gg home one day...Saw this tagline behind a taxi
[ Safe and Secure with Sovereign ]
How apt! I'm safe in His arms and His thought.
No need to impress others or be impressed.
*BIG GRIN*

noise

there goes the end of my time with me and my dad.

surprisingly it had been really good. the whole 2 weeks was pleasant, even beautiful. Far beyond what i had hoped for. was kinda dreading it. but it was good. surprised. and he is more releasing with the car. wow. amazing. i've always brooded about it... how I never had the chance to practise... to drive... but now i do... amazing...

brother came back from Oz land... and the house is back with noise... my mom's coming back tomorrow.................

just thankful... for so much... and friends too.. had a good time at a wedding. used to go for such events alone... but now its like super fun... making loads of noises behind... kinda feel like school in a sense... heh...

good noise...

hiatus

right now... am just waiting for an event to start

and getting my internet fix... ahha....not really.... just want to chill for a while

hmm... finding it quite amusing...the behind the scenes. am really tired. but managed to sleep. actually slept on stage just now. was just thinking... people danced, preached, acted, jumped etc on the stage and i slept on it. hahaha... just funny... really thankful for this colleague who got me a huge nice white blanket and a pillow. managed to catch some winks. wow. feel like a battery. recharged.

hmm... waiting for tonight... to come... the crowds to pour in...

it's been an amazing experience. really. heard about how Jesus heals, miracles, gold dust and all. But it was all head knowledge and heart to a certain sense. Maybe I reasoned out... the stories of "planted people" and hmmf... gold dust... maybe the guy just sprinkled some. BUT THIS TIME... I really saw it for myself. ha. really. The privileges of videoing. Felt like a news coverage camera personnel... running to cover the news. Last night... I saw cripples walk. This lady with a back brace who could stand. Gold dust on a few chairs. A persian lady healed of pain. I mean... WOW. ROCKS! God heals. What also convinced me was also the authenticity of it all (I HATE FAKE-Os)... of how some people were prayed for but not healed totally on the spot and it was ok. The preacher did not 'force' the person to stand or be healed. Yeah. It was real. And it was grace.

Grace is something I'm trying to understand. Guess as Singaporeans, I'm learning what is grace. How you can receive something without having to work for it / perform for it.

Ok... better run to the ladies before the crowd (I mean the CROWD) comes in.

Let's see what will happen tonight!

blame ain't gonna make it go away

ha

enjoyed take the lead LOTS.... really good pumping musik... hehe...

but what really struck me was what Pierre said to the principal - they can blame everything: the environment, the people etc etc but it does not make the problems go away.

Somehow that struck. Yeah. Not victims. Yeah. Life can be tough... but each of us have a CHOICE. Yeah... the environment sucks... but we still have to be responsible for ourselves. It is a lot easier to hide beneath the blame game... but yeah... it ain't gonna make it go away. We must fight for what is for ourselves. No matter how hard. Not pushing it to others.

Been running... and training... and trying... and failing... and trying...