Holiday School Gal

Woah... so glad I took the week off. Ha.

Had my first pedicure today, thrown in with a manicure. Love it! What a treat from one of my best old time friends. Love her. Wow. I'm so thankful. I have white toe nails (liquid paper toe nails)... with my toe having flower motifs.... OOH... pretty pretty... but funky funky... having bubble gum pink hand nails. Ha.Barbie doll colour. HAHA. Yeah... love these colours... am so NOT the black or dark purple kind. Too goth for me. Just can't carry off the 'street' look. Colour sporty funk can. Haha. Anyway... was really a nice time... being girly... I think I'm becoming more girly... *giggles*

Hmm... wanted to buy dresses yesterday... walked around Orchard... could not find any... but today... HEE HEE found two dresses... a nice orange batik one and a princessy turquoise one. After my pink hawaiian dress... realised I like sundresses and I feel comfy in them. keke. Not too bare. But pretty. The turqoise one needs a little altering... but its really pretty. Hmm... given me a couple of years back... dun think I would have bought it. Just look at the 'can can' frills at the bottom!!! *omigosh* I've changed!!!!! Guess I was really utilitarian and minimalist. Ha. Until I realised that God likes me. God likes beauty. That beauty is NOT a luxury but a neccesity. That it is an expression. It comforts. It invites. It is enjoyed. That stained glass exist to reflect Him. That nature sings. Because He is BEAUTY and He draws us in and blows us TOTALLY AWAY!

Guess I had been too utilitarian... coming from my family background... glad to let loose. Glad to learn to enjoy without guilt. Never did much all these years. I suppose I had to be adult to hold the fort at home. I needed to be strong. I needed to study. I needed to be responsible. I never could really play or be a kid. But now I feel I can. A new freedom. A new joy. A new heart. That knows play, fun and enjoyment without fear, guilt or restrictions.

Felt like a 19 year old poly gal on a holiday... in my denimn skirt and flip flops... having a good swim and then heading towards Holland V. Heh. I think I'm redeeming time. The lost times. The time when I could not be my age. When I could not enjoy. When I was not allowed to. Painful. But this time is really freeing. So so so glad I have this time. Really.

Feel like a holiday... stress free... yet in Singapore... just swimming in the nice warm sun... meeting a good old pal... having my Christmas Starbucks Toffee coffee ( a yearly tradition for me) ... shopping( guess its great having the spending power too...not like the school days... felt so guilty for spending money coz my family was not rich) and just doing whatever I want... playing X box til late last night... going for parties... coming back late... sleeping late.... waking up late... no deadlines... going to Sentosa to read a book... blogging now... ha... lovely...

Yeah... after the intense Timor trip and the Christmas shopping and card writing... its good to let the soul breathe... to be nourished. A good time to face issues too... on wrapping up the year and preparing to face a new one. A new adventure.

Its beautiful to grow. To see positive changes. To see myself softening. More loving. Less controlling and utilitatarian. Less uptight. Less stifled.

Looking forward to deeper roots and more beautiful blossoms and fruit in 06 and beyond!

To infinity and beyond!!!!!!!