a defining film.

"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

Wow. Tonight was amazing. I watched "A Hero's Journey" (http://www.luxlucis.sg/index.swf), an indie film on the theme of forgiveness, told through the lens of President Xanana Gusmao, of East Timor. This is another of those "defining moment" films.

Defining in many ways...

>> In my battle with unforgiveness... the funny thing was I was sharing the film's content with my dad... in the middle of the conversation I realised I was talking to my 'perpetuator', the one I have been constantly needing to forgive... for the 15 years... and for yesterday and tomorrow. Remember watching the trailer at www.cine.sg and the ending line was "If we forgive, we liberate ourselves". Was just tussling with the bitterness in my heart towards my dad... and wow... the message was loud and clear. The film is amazingly powerful...

>> As an inspiration... at this juncture whilst I take another step out...back to full on marketplace. Grace Phan's courage inspires me... "I had no training or background in financial markets either when I entered that field, and obviously no experience either in filmmaking when I made A Hero's Journey. I don't feel that my experience in the newsroom prepared me in any specific way for filmmaking. They are quite different processes." Encourages me to pursue my dreams. Always felt that this industry is so male... glad to see 'heroines' like her and even the online editor, Melanie Foo!

>> How much Timor & P. Xanana Gusmao have to teach Singaporeans... as we talk about the "Love Timor" movement... I realised that yes, Singapore has her role to run alongside to encourage her neighbour... but at the same time, they have SO MUCH to teach us... the power of forgiveness...

"If we can forgive, we liberate ourselves from all bad sentiments of revenge of self-flagellation. If we forgive, we stop a part of our life. We say no now I am entering a new phase of my life. If not, I live everyday the sense that I am the worst victim in the world. God, why me?? Why it happened to me and not to other people? Where is the justice in this life? We are everyday trying to understand why and we don't live in peace of mind. We don't live in peace. We are always trying to be selfish. Me ,me why not him? When we dont forgive, we don't free ourself from thinking on ourselves. Forgiveness is the way to live in peace." - Xanana Gusmao

And also the love of the president for his people... not wanting power or glory for its own ends... but for its people. His love for the people blows me away. How he respects, loves and honours the common folk. How he reaches out and treats them with such dignity. His deep courage to forgive, to stop the bitterness... even to those who threw him in prison, betrayed him... WOW. We have much to learn.

>> As a confirmation... the last time I went to Timor... God was just sharing His heart to me ... to see the beauty of His people, His land... despite its pain and history. Found it echoed in Grace's words "We should not idealise them as the poor, oppressed, victorious victims. When I first went to Timor to meet with President Xanana to discuss the project, I felt it was the most beautiful place I had ever seen. I realised much later that it was because I was seeing with my heart, and not just eyes." Yes... the inherent beauty of Timor...

Where do I go from here... I honestly dunno... all I know is I want to create media that impacts lives positively. I want to have more courage to forgive... shaking off the ghost of the sufferings and looking ahead to the future. And I want to go back to Timor to visit the orphans whom I've been thinking about.