Of Rats and Men

Finally (*deep breath*)... I can BLOG!

The whole week went in a whirl again - with all kinds of prep for the trip. Jabs, dermie appts, tkfully found out my passport needs renewal (!) and work.... ....... Last week was the week of housewarmings... heh... thought I could sleep in tom... but looks like the first half of the day is running errands...

Hmm... think I really got a lot closer to my colleagues this month... I don't really know what happened but somehow it did. There were better conversations, sillier jokes, theo discussions, magazine swaps and good food. I love the movie outings... and this round, it was really fun to have them over Ratatouille. Its just real nice to have friends cooking together (esp they were such good cooks) and just everyone chipping in. I had a surreal moment... like in the movies.... where at a moment, the character is present yet fades into a "slow-mo" moment where I heard the laughters at an echo. I felt happy. I like the sound of laughter in my home... as opposed to the many sounds of heartaches and pain... Maybe its a way of creating better memories at home...

Glad things at work could tie up (and I can leave in peace) and was really touched some of my colleagues prayed for me. Yup... definitely hoping to find some direction.

Hmm... watched 'Amazing Grace' again tonight... it is stirring. The first time I watched it, I felt all so gung ho after that... plus the stories I was reading about social reformists. However this time... I felt like Wilby... when he felt like after fighting all these years, nothing changed and he felt like giving up. That's where I am. Ok, I haven't fought all my life... but at least a good 4 "prime" years. Which is a lot, to me. Through the movie, I asked myself what was I fighting for? He was fighting for the abolition of the slave trade and social reformation. Jamie Oliver fights for better British school dinners. What am I fighting for? What changes am I rooting for? What degrees of changes do I make everyday?

Honestly, I don't know. Hope to find out in the travels these few weeks. Hope to get a clearer idea. Hope to find my hope and vision back. Maybe like Ratatouille, I get to realise my dreams and achieve what seems unconventional and impossible.