Samba away rehab.

These are the moments that light up my journey. Yes, its been crazily hard these few months, crying and crying and crying. And then God shows up. Have been wanting a red work bag for a long time - searching when I'm shopping but to no avail. And guess what? My mom came back from her Robinson's sale and got me a red leather bag - the kind of size I like, slightly understated, not too much embellishments, great texture. I'm amazed. Its at times like this that I really stand amazed at my Father. I'm like "What???". Feel hugged.

Really thankful for friends... really was not in a group social mood and was great to have lunch with ALC and LO. Nice to have a birthday treat and be encouraged. ALC said something that caught my heart - that this yucky season is to move me onto a stronger & firmer foundation. And this is a black tunnel not a black hole. Bumped into reg-reg and had a quick chat with her... yes, the barrenness will become fruitfulness. Soon, I hope.

Tried a new "QT" style today - Relevant Mag & online ref. Heh. Good. I like this quote :

Many of God's truths are mysterious, strange, difficult. But much of what God has said is plain, virtually impossible to misconstrue: Trust, Love, Give. Hope...What would happen on the mountain and in Egypt and on the waves was not their (Abraham, Moses, Peter) concern, Their courageous obedience to the simple, clear instructions was the one test that stood before them.

- Winn Coller

This is encouraging. I have NO idea what's next. All I hear is "Trust", "Be positive" "I made the universe" and the picture of a match. I don't understand the last 7 years of my journey but I KNOW I have walked step by step in obedience. And that's the point perhaps. Not so much if I've made any impact (I'm sure there is) or whether I've gained much (struggle with this a lot) BUT the mere fact was I obeyed. Perhaps I need to just be happy with that and leave what I don't know, as it is and keep trusting. Maybe the whole point of it was whether or not I would obey, not so much what effect or fruit I would produce. Maybe. Maybe this is the small change that will bring a tipping point. Then I won't need a spiritual "rehab". Maybe it's like Samba - there's no fixed steps, just move to the music. Maybe I need to just let go of knowing and just sway to the music freely.