Await.

I am sustained. By friendships, by love, by pure grace.

Learning to be loved. Daring to embrace being loved. Risking my fears to receive love. Realising I am worth loving. How many of us can truly be so free to dare to be loved? Sometimes loving others is easier as we think others are worth more than us.

At the bus stop this morning, the wind blew and dried leaves fell down from a tree, just like it would be like in autumn (just that the leaves are not golden maple coloured). I felt comforted. It was a picture of renewal. Like the cells in our bodies. Rest, change and something new arises. Beautiful. I realise the Christian life is so rich... there are so many analogies and parallels and the Bible is full of graphic details and stories... Wat a privilege to follow the Creator...

Hmm... was searching for a folder and came across some files from my freelance days. Remember how difficult those days were. I comforted myself by reminding me of the benefits. Hmm... perhaps that is the tension. The tension of holding the bitter and the sweet, the beauty and the pain, the elevation and the depreciation. That life is to hold these experiences in tandem... all at once. In hope that one day... surely, the ugly ducklings will be beautiful swans... everything, every aspect. Oh how I long for the day. No wonder creation groans.

Awaiting. For perfection. Meanwhile... I grow and accept yet fight.