Twin Feelings

These few weeks have been so contrasting.

Twin feelings - feel JOY yet so much pain.
Glad but mourning.
Hopeful yet struggling.
Perplexed but not in despair.

Am perplexed.

So many things heavy on my heart...

Family... wondering what's the next step? What to expect?

Friends... new, old, friendships I had to let go...and new ones that are building,... just questioning... myself... and others... choosing... letting go... ??? How??? Who??? At this stage of my life...

Transitions... painful... when you are in between... the people on the other two sides do not fully know what's on the other side. Dealing with old hurts and wounds. Learning new ways and values. Letting go and moving on... Aligning with His purpose and not my rights to fruit. Looking at His hand through the wilderness - the loneliness and pain for so long... the price of being faithful, loyal and perserverance. Pain Pain Pain!!! Yet I am free-er and free-er... happier and happier... Joy Joy Joy!!! Strange! Ha. Very uncomfortable yet at ease.

Character change... new revelations... areas He is changing... STARK. To the point. Requires a change of mindset, rules and equations I used to live by... being at a place of CHANGE. Not my views but His. Not my life, but His.

Wah... just feel that in these few short weeks... the rate of change is accelerated. So much revelations. So much freeing. So much... in just these few weeks. Awaiting a great change. A new milestone. Zhuan3 lie4 dian3.

God be praised.